Monday, March 7, 2011

I have nothing to blog about today

I have so little to blog about that it has obliterated my dearth and made of it a wealth.

Less than a week ago - indeed, some span of time that seems recent but not recent enough to quantify specifically - I decided I would blog every day. The purpose? To maintain accounts of my writing. To be accountable to myself in full view of the public. To... while away the hours.

My lack of bloggable material relates directly, however, to the voluminous amount of stories-I-wish-to-write-that-reside-temporarily-within-my-head. My creativity has been struck by flame, and, magnesium oxide that it be, has exploded into white fire. (Aside: Is this metaphor accurate? Chemists? High school students? Weigh in.) This has, countervailingly, pushed out all subjects of whimsy and fancy which normally occupy this blog. I have today tossed out the following blog ideas:

• The beauty of my pen, and the lack of exercise it gets in comparison to my dull, but serviceable, keyboard;
• The unsatisfactory nature of all podcasts when compared to Writing Excuses (sorry, all other podcasts);
• A funny story about my dogs (one of my dogs got locked inside the escape stairwell by accident when I went to take them for a walk this morning and me and the other dog had to run all the way around the building to get back to her and when we got there she looked all sad but cute in that sad way that dogs do and there I've gone and said it all).

All these things are, of course, of great metaphysical merit; but they cannot come up against the enormity of my fantastical creativity. I shall, in the next few days, endeavour to write about plutonium-consuming alien gangsters and pcyber-axe wielding fief lords.

Yes.

In any case, I'll soon offer a full update on what I am convivially referring to (to myself, and now to thee, O Audience) as the "Short Story Assault," my all out war on the short form. It is so far better going than, say, Gallipoli: since last Wednesday, I've written about nine thousand words parsed into two tales and a flash. Tonight, I shall begin "In Fourland," the cyber-fantasy of which I recently spoke.

Yes.

I leave you with comedy:


Pretty much how I felt about Inception.

-bn

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