Thursday, February 17, 2011

A tale of a Weird Tale(s) sale, a.k.a. the Holy Grail

Sorry for the rhymes, folks. It's a weakness, and I know it must hurt you right in the Primordial Rhythmic Apparatus... on account of its lameness.

Anyway, I yesterday sold my short story, "Y'All Are Gonna," to Ann VanderMeer at Weird Tales. I nearly didn't go to work, that's how excited I was. I was almost sick. Ill from excitment. Yeah. It was awesome.

Weird Tales was the first magazine I ever submitted a story to, back in May of 2009. At that point in time, I was certain I was the next, y'know, Kafka or something, and the rejection was a bit of a disappointment. But, here we are, a year and a half later, and I'll be appearing in those slick and shiny pages. The satisfaction of appearing in the same magazine as so many great pulp authors past is almost too much to bear.

Oh, just a moment; my eyeballs have fallen on the floor.

hey bud let's go get a drink
oh wait you are dead
There, that's better. Now, what's funny is, I'm actually kind of scared to write this blog post. The same thing happened when I sold to Brain Harvest. Some part of me is terrified that mentioning the sale will cause some sort of Hulk-like reaction in the editor. "What's he doing talking about it?" I imagine them bellowing. "Pull the plug! This guy's too needy."

But the ink is now dry on the contact (or, at least, my ink is), and I am slightly less terrified than I was earlier. Besides, if Ann VanderMeer really did turn into some kind of monster and rend me limb from limb, I'd be alright with that. It would be a good way to go out.

And you'd all know the truth: that I am the reincarnaton of H. P. Lovecraft.

Minus, you know, all that racist stuff.



  1. Most holy of cows, that is awesome news, sir!

  2. I am most pumped. Now I just must wait six months to see my words in print.

  3. Very exciting news! Congratulations! I don't know how you resisted staying home from work and running about the neighborhood screaming at the top of your primordial breathing apparatus. I know I would have. ;)