Saturday, September 11, 2010

Oh, the anxiety!

The existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre said that anxiety is a state of fear without a direct object. I'm not fearful of editors, but I sure am anxious about submissions responses!

At the moment, I've got three manuscripts out to magazines that are way overdue to be returned. That ain't fair! Why? Because it gets a man's hopes up; it's enough to make a man fear without a direct object.

But hold! You might say: "Take heart, Ben! Mayhaps ye shall soon make a sale!" But I say (with neither enthusiasm nor gusto): "Nay." Clarkesworld has been taking upwards of a week to respond to my submissions lately; but I'm no fool. Their queue is miles long; that's why they're taking their time! And I expect the same holds true at Realms of Fantasy, Flash Fiction Online, and Redstone SF, also.

After all: who wouldn't submit their work to these fabulous 'zines?

So: this is my demand that editors make a concerted effort to reject my work more rapidly! Oh, sure: I'm judging response time according to Duotrope-calculated averages; but I prefer to be below average (it keeps my expectations in check). And querying? Forget it.

Honestly, I don't have the constitution to suffer through all this anxiety.


P.S. I have, conservatively, 11 Constitution. Personal acquaintances may weigh in to the contrary; but being a writer is pretty exhausting work.

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